Life On A Tight Food Budget

A weekly food budget can look fine on paper, right up until you try to feed a family, cover the bills, and still say yes to the small joys that make life feel normal. We sit down with Caroline from Whitby, a single mum raising her 13-year-old son while managing severe asthma, fibromyalgia, endometriosis and POTS. She talks candidly about what caring takes out of you, why work is not possible right now, and how quickly your world can shrink when all your energy goes into keeping your child steady. 

Caroline also shares what it feels like to claim benefits after years of working and why guilt can be the loudest voice in the room. We dig into the real-life impact of the UK cost of living crisis: prices rising faster than incomes, “one-off” spends that wreck a plan, and the constant pressure of weekends, treats, and the everyday “can we?” that comes with having a teenager. We also get into the tricky but necessary job of teaching kids about money, especially when schools do not cover budgeting and online games make spending feel invisible. 

We reflect on how COVID changed schooling for some children, why quieter learning environments can help, and how returning to normal can be a shock. And because Whitby winters are no joke, we talk seasonal budgeting, keeping kids entertained when it’s bitterly cold, and the importance of local community support. Along the way we share how The Bread and Butter Thing uses surplus food to run affordable food clubs, turning a cheaper weekly shop into breathing space for families. 

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Transcript

Welcome And The Food Club Model

SPEAKER_01 0:11

Hello and welcome back to a slice of bread and butter with me, Vic, and Mark. We're from the Bread and Butter Thing.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

We run a network of food clubs that take surface food from supermarkets, farms and factories, and we take it straight into communities where families are struggling to get by.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Yeah, for less than a tenner, our members get bags packed with fruit, veg, fridge food, and cupboard staples. It's a weekly shop that helps stretch the budget and take some of the pressure off.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

Yeah, and our members are at the heart of everything we do. They turn food into friendship and neighbours into community, and that's what makes us tick.

Meeting Caroline From Whitby

SPEAKER_01 0:41

And today it's Caroline from Whitby.

SPEAKER_02 0:59

I'm a single mum. I have one son who is 13 years old.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

How did you come across bread and butter?

SPEAKER_02 1:07

I found out about bread and butter through a friend of mine who she volunteers off the van and she told me about it and thought it was a great idea. And I shared a video out on my socials about one of the bags that I got and the bread and butter thing got in contact and said, We'll loved your video. Come you join us on a podcast.

Caring Responsibilities And Chronic Illness

SPEAKER_00 1:36

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what's the day job, Caroline?

SPEAKER_02 1:39

Unfortunately, I'm not able to work. Um my health has not been very good to me over the years. And I used to work in childcare. Unfortunately, I have to um be there for my son a lot. He needs a lot of support. And he is on a reduced timetable at school. So he needs a lot of extra support from me. And I don't have any other family around to support me here in Whitby anymore. So um it's all it's all on me. It's not easy to be able to work and then alongside my health, unfortunately, and I do I do miss it. I do miss not being able to work.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

How old are you?

SPEAKER_02 2:24

But yeah, yeah, it's um it's it's it's difficult because he comes first, obviously. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Obviously. Um what do you have to do to juggle so that he comes first?

SPEAKER_02 2:38

Um my health. Um I've got severe asthma, I have uh fibromyalgia and endometriosis, and I also have something called POTS, it's POTS for short, it's postural tachycardia syndrome, it's where it's a condition that affects the heart that basically my heart races when it shouldn't. Yeah, so all those combined is really difficult to manage and that kind of sometimes has to go on the back burner. My social life has to go on the back burner, I have to put my son first. He I I would try and get along to some community groups and things, but sometimes it's just not possible because I have to be there to help help encourage him, help get him prepared to going into school. It's quite a big ordeal, really, trying to get in there some days. So I have to do that. That has to come first always.

SPEAKER_00 3:39

Do you think you'll be a long-term carer for him as he becomes an adult, or do you think you're trying to create an independent bubble for him?

SPEAKER_02 3:47

Yeah, absolutely trying to create independence. And I know we will get there. I think uh he has a lot of anxiety, and there's also possibly some neurodiversity there as well. COVID didn't help either. COVID was very difficult. In some ways, actually, he thrived during COVID because he didn't have to go to school. Well, yes, but also he ended actually ended up going to school because he couldn't he couldn't work from home. He was like, This is this is my home. You're not my teacher, you're my mummy, this isn't school, this is home. I was like, okay, I get that. And school actually said for children who are struggling, it's not just for those that are caregivers, there are spaces for children that are struggling to learn at home. So he was able to go into school, but it was so quiet, and he had to just work by himself on a table by himself. So he loved it. So he loved it and he and he did really well. But it then caused that difficulty having to go back to the normality afterwards. It was really difficult.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:01

And that change was really difficult for him to manage.

SPEAKER_00 5:05

Yeah, I I've heard it said many times that it it's very easy to break mental health, but it takes a long time to fix it.

SPEAKER_02 5:13

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely, it does. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

In the meantime, your health's going on the back burner, you can't work, I guess that means finances are down the toilet as well.

SPEAKER_02 5:24

Yeah, it's really difficult. And it it's taken me many years to accept it and not feel guilty and feel wrong in needing to take those benefits.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

Guilty?

SPEAKER_02 5:40

Yeah, felt very, very I felt wrong in needing to take those benefits. And I think because I've always worked and I've always really enjoyed it, to then not be able to. I've constantly had this fight against myself thinking, oh maybe I can, maybe I can get back to work, and then I have to have a little word with myself. I've sometimes experienced judgment from others, but it's mainly judgment from myself that I've had.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

When you say from others, do you mean kind of friends and family or strangers?

SPEAKER_02 6:15

More from yeah, sort of people that I wouldn't consider friends, but sometimes people have questioned even your spending habits. I think it's nothing to do with anybody how I spend my money, and it is really difficult having to manage that, and people don't know my circumstances.

SPEAKER_00 6:37

After your housing and utility bills on a monthly basis, typically how much have you got left? Um to feed yourselves, to dress yourselves, to clothe yourself.

SPEAKER_02 6:48

Not very much. Um yeah, after after bills and food, um especially, there isn't a whole lot of money left.

Weekly Food Budget Reality Check

SPEAKER_00 7:00

What kind of weekly budget do you have on food?

SPEAKER_02 7:02

I try and have a weekly budget of about a hundred pounds a week. It seems like a really decent amount of money, but it's really not because the prices for everything has gone up, however, the benefits have stayed the same. We've had tiny, tiny, maybe an extra ten pound.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

What does it look like for you guys when you have to think about I don't know, weekends, entertainment, evenings, social? Do you do much?

SPEAKER_02 7:38

Um yeah, we don't do a whole lot. Um we sometimes go swimming if we can. We might just go for a little stroll because we're very lucky living in such a a beautiful place. In the winter, it's a really difficult living here.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

Pretty harsh. I've been there in winter.

SPEAKER_02 7:55

It's miserable. That's then when you need more money.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

When the North Sea blows.

SPEAKER_02 8:00

Yeah, it really does.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

Bloody freezing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:02

Yeah. So we'll go out, but then it often leads to can we get ice cream? Can we get fish and chips? And can we go into the arcades? And that's what children want. They want to be doing something, they want to be doing something fun, and everything costs money.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

And how much do you think he's aware?

SPEAKER_02 8:22

He is aware. He is aware, but I don't think he really understands, and I've actually been starting to think of actually sitting him down and going through money with him. We have to teach our children about money and how to work money out. You don't get taught those things in school.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

It's like you've got a hundred pounds in your purse, so why can't I have an ice cream? Well, because that's to last me all week.

Teaching Teens About Money

SPEAKER_02 8:47

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. You know, if we decide to have a takeaway of like, if I'm not able to cook that night, I'm not able to get up off the sofa because I'm in too much pain. And but then the rest of the week, then I have to think, how am I gonna pay for food for the rest of the week? Because the takeaways cost me my, you know, half my weekly budget. I don't allow him to have his own his own money, so he sometimes gets money for Christmas and birthdays from family. I let him have that opportunity one time and he just blew it. He's blew all his money.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

What did he blow it on?

SPEAKER_02 9:26

It's gaming online about buying.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 9:29

Yeah. So nothing to show for it.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

Yeah, yeah, nothing to show for it, just all all the video games sucking him in.

SPEAKER_02 9:38

Saying, buy this, buy that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

So no Lego set to be seen for it.

SPEAKER_02 9:43

No.

SPEAKER_00 9:43

You go through this journey of do I hide it from the kids, do I tell the kids? Where do you think you are on that?

SPEAKER_02 9:50

I just think honesty is the best policy. There's no point me trying to pretend that I haven't shown him my finances and shown him everything. So he doesn't know everything, but he knows that yeah, it's it's it's a struggle. And you know, sometimes I say, okay, so we're really short on money this month because of this, that, and the other. We've had to buy something that I didn't expect for. We're gonna be living off soup or beans and toast for the rest of the month.

SPEAKER_00 10:19

That must be a tricky conversation to have.

SPEAKER_02 10:21

It is difficult. It's always just been us two. I've brought Henry up completely single-handedly, and he's not really known anything different, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

And so it normalises.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

Yeah, it does. It does. And I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing because we have a roof over our head, we have clothes, we have food in our bellies, which is a lot more than some people have in the world. And I've got a lot of love to give. There's a lot of love going around in this house, so, and that's that's the most important thing.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

So it took a while to get Caroline. We have crossed diaries many times because of Caroline not feeling great, because she clearly pours all her energy into the little one.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

Yeah, yeah, that's great. But how we how we found her, I think was uh super too.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

Us kind of seeing Caroline doing a thing and saying, hey, come on the podcast, which is great.

SPEAKER_00 11:34

It's happened before with TikTok. Shireen, I want to say, did it for us. Yeah, and Shireen had thousands of followers, and yeah, she was a great advocate. And I think she even ended up on Comet Relief.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

She did. It's I just think it's really lovely because you know, we have a lot of chatty members and quite often they're chatting to us, but then sometimes they're chatting about us in a really positive way, and that's almost the best endorsement, right?

SPEAKER_00 12:02

Without a shadow, you know, we we can go on every week as we do, Vic. But but it's it's much better hearing it from them.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

Yeah. So she's got a hands full then, really, with managing health issues, little people. Yeah. And I think lots of our members, you know, I was listening to Caroline thinking everybody's situation is totally unique, but our members are all juggling a lot. None of them are sat with their feet up, just thinking, oh, I'll just let life pass me by. Everybody is totally juggling a lot, trying to make the best out of what they've got. You know, I've got that really from Caroline.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

It just shows that plate spinning effort that they were all born naturals at. And just listening to Caroline, what kept coming through to me was I'm trying to use a better word than sacrifice because she's literally sacrificing her health to bring up her son. It's like son first, health second, and it's something again that we hear a lot from mums, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:00

Yeah, it's a total balance, isn't it? Trying to find that balance, trying to manage your energy in you know, on good days and bad days. I think our members are pros at this, actually. Uh it's a real skill. Yeah. Yeah. And then the other bit that I thought was really interesting was the guilt feeling. Like I feel guilty taking the benefits, taking the benefits. It was a really unique choice of words. Um well done, Blue, for the big shake. It was a really unique choice of words that just struck me, like I'm taking the benefit. No, it's not about you taking anything, you're not a taker, it's what you're entitled to because your situation's as it is.

SPEAKER_00 13:40

Well, yeah, but the entitlement comes from a government system that we've set up as a support framework, right? It doesn't come from within. There's something personal about anybody that has to go from working all their lives suddenly to taking benefits. It it it's a proper journey. Yeah. Uh I've I've done it in the past and it's yeah, it's not easy.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

I think it just struck me. I think it was a it was a unique choice of words, and and a lot of our members feel that kind of, oh, I I wish I could do more, you know, this isn't my ideal life. I would love to be working and going out the weekend and not having to juggle health and children and everything else. But then still able to have a laugh, look at the positives in life, and and still making the most of it, despite you know, the challenges that Caroline and others have.

Inflation Pressure And Costs That Stick

SPEAKER_00 14:33

Yeah. Her residual income sounded quite high, 100 to 150 quid a week. I'm not sure her maths were quite there, but I think Caroline, like everybody else, will be feeling the pinch because uh we saw it this week about what was it in the past five years? Yeah, 50% inflation. That's actually 20 years worth of inflation, not five.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Yeah. So I mean, we talk about we talk about bread and butter years, right? And that we we do like a year and a quarter.

SPEAKER_00 15:02

Now we've got inflation years.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

Inflation years, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:05

Although I think bread and butter years are better, a better concept than uh inflation years.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

Yeah, we don't want inflation to run as fast as it is.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

No.

SPEAKER_00 15:13

Although we're not gonna stop it for some time, obviously.

SPEAKER_01 15:16

No, and even if, you know, even when people say, oh, inflation's less, it doesn't mean that costs have gone down. It just means that they're not going up as quickly. So it's sort of like a really tricky headline to get your head around. Like, oh, great news, lower inflation, still costs rising, just at a slower rate.

SPEAKER_00 15:35

Yeah, and and works just in that sweet spot of negativity for Caroline as well, because teenagers are more expensive than little ones, because little ones you can take out to the park, to the beach for free. And teenagers won't wash that.

SPEAKER_01 15:53

No, and I I think it we uh we chat about this a lot. Do the kids know it did or not? And I think by the time you've got teenagers, it's impossible for kids not to know that you know times are a bit tough and just can't afford things.

SPEAKER_00 16:05

Yeah, when she said she's gonna sit down and have a proper conversation about it, I think that was really bold actually.

SPEAKER_01 16:11

Yeah, I agree, but it's also just good parenting, isn't it? Because kids aren't taught how to manage money in school. Yeah. So how do people know how to do a budget? Who who teaches you that? Because all I learned in maths was like Pythagoras and stuff that I've never used ever again.

SPEAKER_00 16:28

How many digits can you go on Pythagoras then?

SPEAKER_01 16:30

3.142.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

That's pie, in it.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

Sorry, yes.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

But you're the math now.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

Isn't Pythagoras the triangles like the Sokatoa?

SPEAKER_00 16:40

Yeah, Sokatoa.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

Paid attention, you see. Never used it ever again.

SPEAKER_00 16:44

Well, actually, Vic, you just have it.

SPEAKER_01 16:51

Yeah. Have you ever used it? This is a proper tangent.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

No, never. No, I I've used a lot of kind of algebra and equations back in the day because I I worked on a couple of gas energy companies and things, and their calculations for how they actually price things were mind-blowing.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

Great. That's I mean, that takes us to electricity bills and utility bills and how no one understands the damn things.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

Well, I yeah. I and this was pre-computer days where they had tomes, a couple of inch thick, manuals of pricing calculations, and it was a a long, a long few months.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

You were gonna say a long time ago. I was like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:31

Oh, thanks. Yeah, all right, I'm I'll get over it.

SPEAKER_01 17:37

Yeah, but interesting, like talking about school, I can remember that from school, and then Caroline was saying during COVID, you know, the school situation changed, and actually that was more beneficial for them at home. Yeah. Because a bit of kind of quiet, concentrated, less crowded classrooms really worked. So I know quite a few kids actually that benefited from going to school in COVID when nobody else did. Yeah. Really suited some people's learning styles.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

Do you know it's just like almost like the third sector as well, right? So the education has um some parallels to it where both of them came into a crashing realism when they needed to go back to what they were doing pre-COVID.

SPEAKER_01 18:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:20

Third sector, all that money got poured in in the sentiment and that everybody was furloughed and wanted to volunteer and all the rest of it. And then everybody wanted to go back to their normal lives and think everything was fixed, whereas nothing was fixed financially.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:33

And education, you know, it's it's it's just the kind of welfare of the kids afterwards having to go back, and particularly people like Caroline's son, who were benefiting from the quiet and the almost one-on-one attention.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

Well, you've almost got it two ways because you've got the people that were benefiting from the quiet, and then the kids that weren't benefiting from the quiet that just stopped learning for a long time. I mean, I know what it was like in my house when I was working all the hours doing the food response and couldn't support any education at home, and it was just like, yeah, this'll be what it'll be.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

Yeah. I remember sitting next to Tani and listening to the uh teacher just wasting most of the class just saying, Turn your camera on, turn your camera on, mute your microphone. Jimmy, are you at McDonald's? Did I just hear if they want fries with that?

Winter Hardship And Keeping Kids Busy

SPEAKER_01 19:23

So But it feels so long ago though, doesn't it? Yeah. So the other thing from Caroline was that like summers are probably easier than winters, and like how do you keep your kids entertained inside with no budget to do so or no like day trip budget in the winter? Because the winters are long and pretty brutal in Whitby and rural communities on the on the sea.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

On that east coast, it it's bitterly cold. Yeah, so the North Sea wind coming in, it really does mean it's quite restrictive. So even in city centres, right, it's still cold, but there are more indoor activities.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

Yeah. But they all cost.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

Well, some community spaces and libraries and museums and stuff. Whether you can get kids into them is a different question.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

You can do a free museum a few times, but then after that, it's like we've done this. I think it's interesting. We've not had anyone chatting about winter and summer budgets. I keep on thinking about uh Sam and Jackie and them um budgeting their journeys, and I keep on thinking, how are Sam and Jackie coping now with the fuel situation?

SPEAKER_00 20:33

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

I think it's one that I might see if some of our members do, to kind of think about, well, we'll try and save a bit of money in the summer because we can go to the park and then we'll but again, I guess that also goes to I've got money to save to keep till the winter, and we're probably in a situation where none of our members do.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

You know, you've just given me an idea as well, Vic, because I'm sure that quite a few of our guests on the podcast would come back and talk to us again about our life is now.

SPEAKER_01 21:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:04

And whether it's changed, etc.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

You just set your own homework, Mark. Well done.

SPEAKER_00 21:09

I did.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

So if you'd like to know more about the bread and butter thing and what we get up to, you can find us at TeamTBBT on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, LinkedIn, or online at breadandbutthing.org.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

And if you have any feedback or thoughts on the podcast or you'd like to come along and have a chat, drop us an email at podcast at breadandbutterthing.org.

SPEAKER_01 21:40

And we're always open to new members at all of our hubs. If you or someone you know would benefit from our affordable food scheme, you can find your nearest hub on the become a member page of the website. Do you know how many new members we got last week, Mark? Over 400.

SPEAKER_00 21:55

Wow. Do we know why at all?

SPEAKER_01 21:57

I think because times are tough.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

So, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

And please do all those things that podcasts asks you to do. Like us, subscribe to us, leave us a review, and share us with your mates. And chat about us on social. And we will see you next time.