A Slice of Bread and Butter
The voice of The Bread and Butter Thing - with stories from the frontline of the cost of living crisis from one of the UK's leading food charities.
A Slice of Bread and Butter
Hustle and harmony: A singer’s struggle working three jobs
Singer, vocal coach and part-time carer, Colette doesn’t fit the typical image of someone needing food support. After a divorce in 2021, she faced sudden financial strain but has slowly rebuilt her life. Despite juggling three jobs, a mortgage, and raising two children, she struggled to stay afloat and was without a permanent home for five months. Join Mark and Alex as they talk “mystery dinners” from the weekly shop, how quickly life can change and dealing with hardship whilst surrounded by wealth.
Welcome back to A Slice of Bread and Butter with Alex and Mark from the Bread and Butter Thing. We're a charity that delivers affordable food to the heart of struggling neighbourhoods, to help nourish communities and act as a catalyst for change.
Speaker 2:We provide access to a nutritious, affordable range of food, which means our members can save money on their shopping, feed their families healthily, as well as access other support to right in the heart of their communities.
Speaker 1:And this is where we share a slice of life of somebody involved in bread and butter and hear about how they connect with us. So who is it this week? Mark?
Speaker 2:So I think I'm slightly giddy and slightly nervous this week because it's Colette and Colette's a singer. There's a song there, isn't there? Claire's a singer. Let's have a listen to Colette my name is colette.
Speaker 3:I think of myself as a singer um, I also do singing, teaching work and since covid, I also work as a domiciliary carer, when you go into people's homes and help them out, as opposed to being a carer in a care home or a residential home to try and encourage people to be able to stay at home yeah sometimes people need a helping hand, so I kind of go in and help out.
Speaker 2:So a singer, a singing teacher and a carer yeah, all at once yep, yep how many hours a week do you work?
Speaker 3:so I was trying to work this out the other day. So with the teaching which I suppose is my main income, I suppose I do about two days in schools and then I do two evenings private teaching a week and then the singing work that I do. Nowadays, like I said, I used to do a lot of touring, can't really do that so much anymore, but I I put together like a nostalgic sing-along show and I take it mainly now into kind of care homes and community groups. So I do maybe two or three of those a week in the afternoons and then the care work I do one morning a week and then every other weekend in the evenings some overnights when I haven't got the children, and then during the school holidays when I'm not teaching, I take on extra hours if need be so you've got kids yep two kids, yep 14 and seven.
Speaker 3:Yeah, 14 year old boy, seven year old girl on your own so I split them with my ex.
Speaker 3:So that works out quite well because we both work evenings and weekends. And so we kind of sat down when we split to work out how it was going to work, because neither of us could really do full custody. I think we would both like to. But um it just from a practical point of view. When he has the children at one end of the week that's when I do my really long teaching days I'm out the house for 12, 14 hours and then he's usually away at the end of the week and so I have the children at the end of the week. But we live geographically relatively close by and we get on enough to make that happen and it suits the children. You know they get time with dad, time with mum. Yeah, yeah, to make that happen and it suits the children. You know they get time with dad, time with mum yeah, yeah and there's always the conversation about
Speaker 4:who's got who's trainers and where's the PE?
Speaker 3:kit and all the drumsticks are in the wrong house. Yeah so it's a good job. We do get on because we have to have those conversations daily.
Speaker 2:But yeah so it's um busy, busy so do you mind me asking about the split?
Speaker 3:no, what do you want to know?
Speaker 2:When did it happen? Because I'm guessing that was a pretty tough time financially.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so end of 2021, beginning of 22. So kind of coming out of COVID really, and it just took us a little while to kind of work out what we were doing, how it was going to go. So we carried on living together for a little bit, which is probably why, actually, we've learned to be amicable, because we had to make that work for a time and I think that was actually good for us did covid force that on you don't think it forced it, but I think it made everybody look at their lives in a slightly different light.
Speaker 3:I mean, I only started doing the care work because of covid and I think that made me look at life in a very different way and just how, how other people live and what we've all got to look forward to in the years to come. Yeah, and just meeting new people, I think as well out of my normal sphere of musicians and arty people and education stuff. It was suddenly, you know, I was with people who I wouldn't have met otherwise, and older people mostly, yeah. So it took me and my ex a little while to work out what we were doing and, like I said, we both really wanted to still be massively involved in the children's lives. We moved out from our old house about 18 months ago.
Speaker 3:I had a bit of a nightmare moving into my place because it wasn't quite ready, so I had five months where I didn't really have anywhere to live, which was a bit scary. But I finally moved into my flat April last year. So I've been here nearly a year, which is quite exciting, but I love it, I love, I love my flat. I love it's not, you know I look at my friends, big houses and everything and I kind of think maybe I'm supposed to be living in a, a big house somewhere. But I just love that this is mine and I've been able to achieve it because it was hard fought and hard won financially and you know, just practical stuff so you got to cut your cloth, yeah yes but I just find myself pootling about here and just feeling really lucky, um and settled, and you know it's a lovely, warm, cozy, safe place for me and the kids to be in a nice area.
Speaker 3:You know I'm very, very lucky but my parents had to help me out. You know I got some money from our old house but my parents also had to chip in, which isn't ideal, but I couldn't have done it without them yeah, it's really interesting because I talked to a lot of people about that and how some people get support from parents, others don't.
Speaker 2:It's normally the chunks right that you need to help with, so I'm guessing they help with a flat rather than kind of day to day running costs.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean they do help out where they can. They live down in Bristol so I think they would like to be more hands on, especially with the children. You know they absolutely adore spending time with the children, but it's a three hour drive at best and they're in their late 70s so it's not easy for them to pop up all the time. And I can't go down because you know I'm stupid busy with jobs and the children is that where you're from, bristol?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah originally what was growing up in br like.
Speaker 3:Oh, it was amazing. It was the 90s. There's a lot going on in Bristol. It was very kind of independent and I think it used to hold the record for something like the longest run of independent shops in Europe or something like that. Probably not so much anymore because it's a bit more on trend to have independent shops, but I think back in the day they held that record. But you know the era before mobile phones and you know there's a lot of freedoms and it's a nice city. It's not too massive and my parents were pretty lenient, probably maybe too lenient. I don't know about letting me out and going out with your mate.
Speaker 2:I'm an 80s kid, so I get it.
Speaker 3:It seems strange how kids are digitally tethered nowadays, but I think it's the parents as well, like when my son first started walking to school. I mean, he's 14 now, but when he started walking to school it wasn't far, but we were so paranoid about him. I have to have tracker on his phone and we have to make sure we know where he is and everything. I was like god. Our parents didn't have a clue. They just off. You go, just be in by, you know, and if you're more than about half an hour late than they worry or like my parents don't come back by.
Speaker 3:Yeah it was always like 10p in each sock, you know, you know, in case you needed to ring from a pay phone or whatever. But yeah, no, bristol was great. Um, we were talking earlier about my school. That was fine. But the stuff that I did that made me happy was all outside of school singing and music lessons and choirs and kind of am dram stuff. That was where all my my happy stuff was. The school was just a box to tick. Probably with most people it's the same, isn't it?
Speaker 3:but yeah yeah, didn't, it wasn't my thing okay.
Speaker 2:So how did you come across bread and butter then?
Speaker 3:A friend who was a carer actually another carer oh god, it must be, I don't know maybe three years ago now, and we were both caring for the same client and we would kind of swap over. And you know, I was saying about, you know how me and my ex were splitting up and I was a bit worried about money and she was like, oh, this is an amazing thing. And she said that she she had used it a bit. I don't think she uses it anymore. She kind of said, oh, you know, you get all this food and it's like seven pounds or whatever it was. At the time I said, oh my God, that's incredible. I was kind of like too good to be true. But I thought, oh well, it's worth looking into. And yeah, I use it maybe every other week.
Speaker 2:What's the strangest thing you've ever had in a Brenner Butterbike? Oh gosh.
Speaker 3:I don't know if it's. There's never any reason for me to go down those aisles literally, but there's a lot of kind of plant-based food in the bags and that's been great to kind of try different things. So, um, you know, we always joke on a tuesday or wednesday evening when I've got the kids. It's like we never know what we're gonna have. It's like the mystery dinner, whatever is, whatever needs eating first, even things like plant-based, like flora, butter types, just breadable butter, that kind of thing, which is great, and meat substitute sausages and things like that.
Speaker 2:That's been the biggest surprise, I would say one of the things that a lot of people do see from Brennan Butter as well, is they get to know their neighbours more, or the community more, because they actually meet people yeah, is that, something that you recognise.
Speaker 3:I wouldn't have made friends as such, but it is nice to kind of see the same faces each week. You have maybe a little chat or you know, an acknowledgement, and even when you see each other, maybe out of context, sometimes there's that kind of little connection, but it was quite nice. One of the volunteers is somebody who actually used to hire me to sing in her community group, so it's really nice to see her every time I go. She hasn't asked me to sing for everybody yet, but you know I'm gonna.
Speaker 2:You know I'm gonna, it's coming, it's coming.
Speaker 3:I can see that for people maybe who maybe live by themselves or yeah, and I hear a lot of kind of foreign accents around. So I guess if there's people who've moved to the area, it's a great place for them to kind of get to know people, because that must be really hard. I mean, I've lived in Australia and it was really hard to meet people in Australia. And that's when you speak the same language and I think you know if you can find little pockets of friendly groups, then that's that's amazing.
Speaker 2:So do you have a good friendship circle, support network around here? Then yeah we've.
Speaker 3:I've been in Manchester for 11 years now, so when I first came to Manchester keen to try and make friends, I joined the Hallé Choir, manchester Chamber Choir, so I've got quite a lot of like singy friends.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I'm just thinking you can't just join the hell a choir you have to audition.
Speaker 3:But, yeah, I know a few people and I don't sing with the choirs anymore. I just don't have the time at the moment because of the children and working more evenings than I used to, but I still keep in touch with them and then, obviously, with the children being at school, you've got school parents who you get to know another thing I ask a lot about is what would you consider nowadays because you're on your own.
Speaker 2:It's a lovely flat that we're sat in, sat at your what would you call this is this?
Speaker 3:we call it the island, but I suppose it's a hatch really more, isn't it?
Speaker 2:what, nowadays, though, would you consider as a luxury that I guess, when you were together pre-covid, should we say you'd say was just like an everyday thing?
Speaker 3:I suppose takeaways as a bit of an everyday thing, that's a bit of a luxury nowadays. I suppose we maybe used to have a takeaway maybe once a week. Now it's maybe once a month if we're lucky. Yeah, I mean holidays. Obviously that's a really big issue because having children, of course, you have to go on holiday during the school holidays, which makes it four times more expensive. So that's a real thing and that will be a real problem this year, especially the last couple years. You know we've tied holidays in with going down to the south part of the country and trying to stay with friends and family, because my parents in Bristol, my best friends in Tunbridge Wells, so we've tried to do holidays where we've had visits with different people and then maybe like a few nights with me and the children in an Airbnb or something.
Speaker 3:Yeah, proper staycation yeah, yeah, I mean it's a nice way to kind of actually see people. But I mean I'd love to. You know, we went to Corfu when Henry was little as a family. There was only the, the three of us, and you know the kids kind of talk about, oh, it'd be lovely to go somewhere with a pool or whatever I'm like. Well, yes, it would.
Speaker 3:Let's hope for some nice weather in England. But you know, britain's great. When we were in Bournemouth last year and we happened to have, I think, the three best days of the year and we were on the beach and we could have been in spain, you know. So when the weather's nice in this country, if it's that sort of holiday you like, it's amazing. So, yeah, the holidays, takeaways, I suppose you know, cinema trips and things like that. There's a new cinema that's just opened in sale and it looks really lovely, but the ticket's really expensive compared to going to somewhere like the view, where you can get, you know, tickets for 4.99 or whatever it is. In Altrincham I think these ones are like £12 each, yeah, so it's um. Well, that is a special occasion place, that that isn't just something to do on a Saturday afternoon.
Speaker 2:I'm still waiting for a dog friendly cinema.
Speaker 3:That's my thing oh yeah, that would be because they do all like you know the baby friendly stuff now, don't they? So yeah, dog friendly one would be good. It's the next step.
Speaker 2:I mean, I did have to ask her to sing. Right, you can't have somebody in front of you with a microphone that you're recording, that's a professional singer, and you can't just say could you just give us a tune? And she did, and she did. It was, I'd say, slightly awkward only because Colette was like two foot away from me on the microphone and she's got a beautiful voice that was bellowing out and she's staring at me and I'm like I'm a one-person audience.
Speaker 1:I hope you gave her a clap at the end. I did.
Speaker 2:I thought she was fantastic and I did.
Speaker 4:I got rhythm, I music. I got my man who could ask for anything more. I've got daisies in green pastures. I've got my man who could ask for anything more?
Speaker 2:Beautiful, thank you Bravo, that was.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's a bit of a voice. Your own personal concert. I wish I could sing. Shall I sing for you now. Go for it.
Speaker 2:No, you don't want that, go for it. We could replicate the awkwardness, right. So what was interesting, though? Because I think we've met a number of people like Colette before, but Colette was strange to me as a bread and butter member, and all I mean by that is that Colette was incredibly middle class, right? So meant in the nicest possible way yeah, lovely upbringing in bristol, had a really good life, clearly married with kids and then post-covid they split and finding a way of setting up on your own after a divorce for anybody.
Speaker 2:it demonstrates that financial impact that it just makes and, surprisingly, despite her successes and despite how hard she works and she's got three jobs just like everybody else that we see Holding down a mortgage on a flat, two kids to feed, getting kids to school and all of that she's just had to learn how to do right. I just think that that financial impact again of ripping a family apart financially, that is I don't because they get on really well, which is lovely, yeah, but another reason people can end up just in that financial hardship yeah, she was homeless for five months.
Speaker 1:was she back with her parents? Because that's got to be tough when you've got two young kids. I mean lockdown put a number of marriages, relationships, under the microscope, but the divorce lawyers on the other side 2021, were rubbing their hands.
Speaker 2:I was OK. Jane and I were OK because obviously we worked through COVID, so I was allowed out.
Speaker 1:Could it have been a different?
Speaker 2:story.
Speaker 4:Otherwise I think she'd have murdered me.
Speaker 2:But I also found out Corinne shout out to Corinne Bell from Open Kitchen Manchester. She was also feeding people that were shielding and all the rest of it through COVID, but she had a cappuccino machine, so I found the only cappuccinos during lockdown.
Speaker 2:A constant source a secret sauce. So and I went to pick up one one day for Jane, because I don't really drink coffee and she gave me the cappuccino she'd just made Corinne and she's feisty, as are Corinne and she put it down on the counter and I said have you no chocolate powder? Can I have some cocoa? On the counter? And I said have you no chocolate powder? Can I have some cocoa on the top? And she went in the middle of the apocalypse. You want bloody cocoa powder on your coffee, get out.
Speaker 2:The apocalypse. It felt like that at times, didn't it? It did, it did, but it was funny. But yeah, COVID did put that strain on. Looping back to Colette, though what really threw me was that combination of singing and entertaining and being a carer.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:There's something about the caring sector and people that go into the caring sector. It's like it's not about money, it's about the job and caring for people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, From what Colette said, it was going through COVID and lockdown that triggered that a way to meet new people and I think that whole experience humbled everyone, didn't it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a leveller, wasn't it?
Speaker 1:It was a leveller, that's it. But yeah, I got the sense that it was going through that, that it triggered Colette going into care. It could be right, but it was going through that that had triggered Colette going into care, I'd like to be cared for by Colette. She could sing to me. What sort of struck me was Colette is still living in.
Speaker 1:Altrincham and she's got her own little flat now that she loves and can't help but compare to her friends who are living in bigger houses and all the rest of it. It just goes to show, no matter what age you are or what stage your life, comparison's always going to creep in there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think the other way. Being the miserable accountant, I think how risky things can be because a divorce can mean that suddenly you don't have the life and you're looking at everybody else. And Colette probably used to have that life in the bigger house with the social network and all the rest of it. But looping back again to covid, when colette was talking about the mystery dinners on pickup day, that's fun for me because it's a food waste thing this, but the number of youtubes and socials that were coming out about how to actually use your leftovers and all the rest of it because apps were created, weren't they?
Speaker 1:yeah?
Speaker 2:all this stuff, the mystery dinner that they're having on the bread and butter day. It just reminded me of that, because domestic food waste dropped, don't you know? Really it did during covid because we, we all, weren't tempted by the takeaways or the restaurants, etc etc. And then we all went lazy and lumpy again.
Speaker 1:And you had to make do, didn't you? You had to make do.
Speaker 2:I remember the queue around the corner when the McDonald's opened. It was just shocking. But everyone was just desperate for a Big Mac. When it opened after COVID.
Speaker 1:If we're having a tight month, we do. It's not Game of Thrones, it's Game of Cupboards. Because you know how you stockpile and then things can stay in there for ages. We're like, right, we're gonna do game of cupboards and we have to or freeze a clear out teas.
Speaker 2:Well, we've had some right, crazy combinations we do that as well the week before we're going on holiday. If we go on holiday, it it's like right, we'll sleep in the cupboards.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah For Mother's Day, because freezer clear-out teas have come from my childhood. I found the best Mother's Day card and it was all the best. Mums had a stash of these in the freezer and it was Finder's crispy pancakes.
Speaker 2:We always had Finder's crispy pancakes in our freezer, absolutely, which ones did you have? The minced beef?
Speaker 1:Oh really, but I liked the cheese as well. To be honest, I like them all.
Speaker 2:They were a bit dangerous though, those cheesy ones, because it was so hot. Well, you know what's going to happen they're going to be in bread and butter bags soon.
Speaker 1:Well, let me know, I'll be all over them. I'll be all over them like a pigeon on chips. Let's talk about Bristol. So I'm about to lose one of my really good friends to Bristol because it's such a cool city it is.
Speaker 2:If we're talking Bristol, we've got to talk Banksy as well, I guess.
Speaker 1:There's street art everywhere. We've got a couple of friends there and if we're going down to Cornwall or Devon we'll always stop. There's always like crazy art installations and all kinds going on and it's all like really affordable stuff, dead accessible. It's a brilliant brilliant city.
Speaker 2:They pride themselves on the kind of food movements. There's all sorts of food environmentalists and lack of food, waste and what you can do with it and all that sort of stuff down there. Even the Mayor of Bristol's right on with it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I bet they don't have a dog-free cinema, a dog-friendly cinema, sorry.
Speaker 1:You don't want a dog-free cinema.
Speaker 2:I don't want. I want a dog-friendly cinema.
Speaker 1:I think there's a gap in the market there. Have you seen that picture, though, where they take training guide dogs to sit in cinemas? There's all these gorgeous Labradors all sat on cinema seats.
Speaker 2:Cool. Well, Blue would do that.
Speaker 1:But would he stay still for two, two and a half hours?
Speaker 2:No, but how many Gen Zers would?
Speaker 1:Yeah, true so if you'd like to know more about the bread and butter thing and what we get up to, you can find us at team tbbt, on instagram, tiktok twitter and on linkedin or online at breadandbutterthingorg and if you have any feedback or thoughts on the podcast or would like to even come and be a guest on our podcast, drop us an email at podcast at bread and butter thingorg and lastly, we're always, always open to new members at all of our hubs.
Speaker 2:If you or someone you know would benefit from our affordable food scheme, you can find our nearest hub on the become a member page on the website and please do all those things that podcast asks you to do, or please like us, subscribe to us, leave us a review or share us with your friends and chat about us on your socials or dm. Us sound a bit desperate there, I just I just like to talk to people, please until next time, see you.
