A Slice of Bread and Butter

Julcine's journey: Tackling life with toddler twins and a smile

The Bread and Butter Thing Season 1 Episode 25

Imagine having to give up your career, move between temporary accommodation whilst looking after your twin babies, all on your own? Join Alex and Mark as they chat to the ever optimistic Julcine, a young mum excited for a Christmas where they feel well-fed, safe and warm.  She's working hard to turn hardship into hope with a big smile on her face and even bigger dreams for her little family's future. 

Speaker 1:

Welcome back to A Slice of Bread and Butter with Alex and Mark from the Bread and Butter Thing. We're a charity that delivers affordable food to the heart of struggling neighbourhoods, to help nourish communities and act as a catalyst for change.

Speaker 2:

We provide access to a nutritious, affordable range of food, which means our members can save money on their shopping, feed their families healthily, as well as access other support too, right in the heart of their communities.

Speaker 1:

And this is where we share a slice of life of somebody involved in bread and butter and hear about how they connect with us. And today we've got Julesine. Now Julesine has the patience of a saint. She is the mother of twin boys, age two.

Speaker 2:

Terrible, twos double trouble.

Speaker 1:

But they are super, super cute, so that helps a lot. Hmm, we went to see her one snowy afternoon a few weeks ago. Wow, the energy. Yeah, julesine definitely has her hands full and she's on her own a lot because her partner lives over in the Congo. Oh, wow, but he was there at the moment because of Christmas, nice, so I think she's very much enjoying having an extra pair of hands about the place. Shall, we have a listen.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 1:

Hi, julesy. Hi, Thanks for having us in your lovely little flat. It's so nice and cosy. Yeah, can you tell me about how you found bread and butter and what it means to you?

Speaker 3:

After becoming homeless, I was put in a hotel in Sale and then after that I came here to Old Tringham. They always have leaflets up in the office. I do tend to look at them a lot. It looked quite interesting and I saw that it was like okay, you'll pay £8.50 to get food that's worth like um 60 to 80 pound. I was like interesting, filled in the forms online and everything. And then they sent me the message and then I went on a Tuesday and it was fabulous, amazing. I was so happy, absolutely excited, and I was like, oh, my goodness, this is really good. And ever since I've been doing it, like the day before yesterday, I got- my shopping.

Speaker 1:

Good to hear. Can you tell me about being homeless?

Speaker 3:

Well, I used to work full-time as a support worker just here in altrincham. Obviously, I got pregnant and had twins. I went on maternity leave and I couldn't go back full-time because of the twins, couldn't like put them in nursery and stuff like that, because I couldn't afford that. So they put me on bank staff instead of full-time. So that's when, like, you pick up shifts whenever you can. So that's what I've been doing since with that. My. The place I was staying was a studio. There. It started damping and stuff. A lot of damp started appearing, contacted the owner and everything. So I was like I need to move. Went online, started looking at houses like at least a two-bedroom house yeah, the price was something else. The dump was getting even worse and worse. We couldn't stay there anymore. Dump everywhere, the whole house was dumped walls, everything was covered.

Speaker 1:

It was really like, really bad, yeah how old were the boys at this point?

Speaker 3:

um, they were one, yeah one, they were one at the time. You don't open windows that much, it's cold, you know things like that. And it's a very petite place like basically it was this room.

Speaker 1:

It was the four of you live living there no, my partner um.

Speaker 3:

He's on a visiting visa. We're trying to sort out his uh documentations and stuff so he can come and stay here with us. He lives in congo, so he comes and goes, comes and goes and he can only stay for a period of time and he has to go back.

Speaker 3:

It must be really hard yes so we got married and everything, but still it's very difficult. So now we're showing swat his documentation so he can actually move here and actually get a job. He's got a degree in engineering, so if he comes here he's not gonna be on benefits or anything like that. He's got his brains. He will get a job straight away. He's he's very good like. He's not. You know, he'll make sure that me I will also have help with the twins, because when he's here it's a lot is it's very helpful when he's back in the congo.

Speaker 1:

How long are you alone with the twins?

Speaker 3:

so this time around I was alone between for three months. He just came back like three days ago so just to spend spend Christmas with us. Yeah, so we got moved in March. This was just a hotel, like a hotel room, One double bed and one single bed, so I just put it together. So it was just me and the twins From March until June. So that's when he came back, June, like when they gave us this place and I explained to them the situation Because here you're only allowed A person to stay for like three days in a week and they said it's fine, Whenever he's here he can stay with you. So they understood and that's why, like, yeah, or else I don't know what I would have done Like three days, what are you going to do for the next like three days? Like, what are you going to do in the meantime? And we're just waiting now bidding for houses, and so far I'm not number six.

Speaker 1:

So I'm getting there, getting close to getting a permanent house oh that's good.

Speaker 3:

That's good. What time does this doc make?

Speaker 3:

mama, you were telling me you've got a degree. I have a degree in social care, so community and social care procedure and practice. Then I did my master's in social pedagogy. It's just different ways of working with, like children or adults, different ways of learning. Basically that's what that means, social pedagogy, yeah. And since, uh, graduating I've been working and obviously the social care sector and not expecting twins. But after having twins and stuff like, my career path just went down a bit. So when they start school I'm hoping to just start off again when you're here on your own.

Speaker 1:

What do you find the most challenging?

Speaker 3:

taking care of them both. They're waking up taking them out by myself, because I can't really do it by myself. So, luckily, I've got great friends and I've got family. My parents are here and stuff, so they work full time so they don't. And I've got my little brothers so they do help out. And it's challenging, but the future's bright, so we're okay yeah you know, I'm happy. You know I've got the twins and I'm not in the streets, so it's good.

Speaker 1:

Good, but you've got a very positive outlook. I love it.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, good job.

Speaker 1:

Are they good eaters? You boys, Very good eaters.

Speaker 3:

They just eat. They don't stop. Do they like the veg If it's in sauce? They love soupy kind of foods.

Speaker 1:

Disguised.

Speaker 3:

But if it's not, no, they won't eat it. No.

Speaker 1:

What kind of things do you cook with a bread and butter shop? Do you batch cook?

Speaker 3:

so I cook every day. They'll give you things like sandwich stuff, you know. So you get like sandwiches, like frozen foods, lots of vegetables like carrots, parsnips depends on the weeks like this one. We got some chicken. I made that yesterday so it was nice and the twins enjoyed that and we used up all the carrots and yeah are you one of these people who's quite keen on nothing going to waste yeah, I tend to like to like if the carrots.

Speaker 3:

There's a lot of carrots, carrots coming out of your ears yes, what I do is, for example, bread because it's just me and the twins most of the time. So I do freeze it and just take it out when we need it. But because my partner eats quite a lot, so when he's here food finishes very quickly, but when it's just me and the twins it lasts quite a while. So I tend to just put everything in the freezer and take it out when we need it, and there we are, daddy, daddy. Yes, you're very good at this.

Speaker 1:

So Christmas, I hear you're a fan.

Speaker 3:

I love Christmas. I absolutely adore Christmas. I'm excited for it. I've got my tree. This is my first ever Christmas when I'm actually decorating my own house, so like I'm ready to like decorate and yeah, you're gonna go big. No, I'm not gonna go big, but I'll go Do what we can. What can? Yeah? Hopefully next year We'll have our own place and they'll definitely go big.

Speaker 1:

Do you have any sort of worries around Christmas Because it can be such an expensive time of year and that sort of added pressure?

Speaker 3:

I feel like with bread and butter, it actually allowed me to save quite a lot. Come on, it's a bargain £8.50 for all the food we get. If I went to Tesco because one week I didn't go and I had to literally do my shopping, I felt it I was like, oh gosh, no no no, no, no, and I'm just.

Speaker 3:

I hope it carries on for a very long time because I don't know what I'll do like if I go back to spending £100 a week on shopping. You know, it has helped me save a little bit and I'm not too worried because of that.

Speaker 1:

Wow, you are very cute, the pair of you, yay. What about the boys and their future?

Speaker 3:

I want them to go to grammar school. That's my hope for them. The things I would have wished for them that they didn't get, not rather because of the money, but rather because of the support. It's double of everything, isn't it? For example, I wanted them to start with the swimming lessons from when they were little. But you can't do that with two kids if you're by yourself. You need two adults. Even if you have like the money for that, you can't do it because you're by yourself, things like that. Um, I feel like they're behind on because of just me by myself and my partner being away. Quite often, once my partner comes here, gets his job and he's an engineer and you've got degrees and masters, we'll be fine.

Speaker 3:

Those boys are going to be clever.

Speaker 3:

They are very clever little boys actually Very, very clever because they're only two and they know the ABCs, they know how to count up to 15. You can be clever, but if you don't have the right support, right guidance, it can just fade away, can't it? So I'm trying, and they learn very quickly. So with that we're just like maybe they got that, maybe my brain too, but it's quite clever, it's very clever. So, yes, the future. I feel like if everything we're planning goes ahead how we want it to go ahead, then the future looks bright. I would say, yeah, it does. Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 3:

Fingers crossed.

Speaker 2:

Fingers crossed, yes homeless and pregnant and then homeless with newborn twins wow, my head can't compute that. No, I mean, the emotional stress in that must be super intense. We talk about food insecurity being an emotional thing, but can you imagine what that feels like on your own with two babies and no fixed abode? That's really just takes a moment to sink in, doesn't it? Absolutely. The thing that throws me is Jolseen's tone is so light and positive and optimistic and it's just like, oh, and I was homeless and it doesn't sink in because of the tone. It's just like you have to, did you? Did you just say that?

Speaker 1:

yeah, the gravity of the situation. Yeah. So for the last couple of Christmases she's been in temporary accommodation or hotels. Wow, the only saving grace is that those two little boys probably weren't moving as much as they are now.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I bet they were running around everywhere when you went.

Speaker 1:

Oh they were. They were up the walls, but so happy, so happy. It was a flat filled with joy and I had a lovely time there, Nice, it was very cosy.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but that spirit of Jolcene it's another common trend that we talk about that spirit of not even seeing it as survival, of just carrying on and coping with so much and yet being really positive and looking forward to Christmas. Technically a single mum, because dad's not always there with twin toddlers in and out of housing, and yet she's looking forward to Christmas and it's just like wow.

Speaker 1:

I'd like to do a revisit to Jolcene next Christmas because hopefully she'll have her own house and we can hear about how big she's gone for Christmas yeah, I could.

Speaker 2:

I could see Jocelyn going really big if she had the opportunity.

Speaker 1:

And I think she's desperate to work more. She's bright as a button, she's got a degree and a phd and she's desperate for adult conversation. I think that's why she invited me round.

Speaker 2:

I hope I wasn't too much of a disappointment but don't we all strive for that though, because kids are lovely, but they don't give you that conversation, that engagement in the same way.

Speaker 1:

I mean, there are some supermums that have it, but nearly everybody always needs a cup of tea and a chat with somebody of a similar age or generation. It was great to hear that she does have a good support network around her. She was saying that unless she has another pair of hands, she doesn't leave the flat, because those little lads are everywhere, yeah, and you'd need eyes on the back of your head, on the top of your head and the side of your head to keep an eye on them all and alex says it's another common trend, isn't it?

Speaker 2:

there are reasons that people are stuck indoors. So we had james and braith and the difficulties with getting the wheelchair and the dogs out, etc. And now we've got toddlers tying them down, because two toddlers is a really, really tough call to go out.

Speaker 2:

It's a proper mission it is with one toddler, let alone two I have to psych myself up to leave the house sometimes yeah, we always had a list by the door. Have you forgotten? So you can imagine how long that list is for two of them. When you listen to Jolcene right, it's clear that she's absolutely doting on her twins and the dreams and the aspirations that she's got for her kids with grammar school, everything that she wants for them, despite this start and the troubles that they're seeing on a day-to-day basis now. But I'm utterly convinced that she'll make it happen that they go to grammar school, convinced that she will do it one way or another because she sees the value in that education and what opportunities that will give to them.

Speaker 1:

She will just do whatever it takes to make that happen.

Speaker 2:

I can see it in her. Yeah, I couldn't agree more. Let's go back then, because the other thing that I really didn't like hearing was that state of some of the low end of private housing. Right, it's the private renting. The damp on the walls. They just constantly smell. It doesn't matter where you go, it's all this black rubbish on the on the walls. It just reminds you that actually, there is this space in the UK where this is still fact. I'd like to say that it's rare, but it's not. It's another thing that we see a lot of. It's not just private rented, it's just rented. Accommodation can get really neglected, and it's such a shame that there's nothing there to really stop this from happening is there no laws or?

Speaker 2:

yes regulatory bodies there are, but they're clearly not enforced well enough. And that's the difficulty with so many things. It's when you go into certain communities and if there's a high crime rate, it tends to be because typically there's not community investment in the right way, but it's that type of thing. It's just like how do you actually look at it from the preventative position, which is what we do with bread and butter things, food clubs. All the time we are in that preventative space to stop people having to use food banks and move away from food banks.

Speaker 2:

I'm just pausing because the dog's just come to join me with his big paws, with his big paws, and he's staring at you and you can't see it hey blue you can possibly hear him licking his lips, though I think we should do a podcast with blue do you? We'll be very one-sided, but so tell me about jolcene's partner, then she's got a partner, but he's in congo. How often is?

Speaker 1:

he around whenever they can afford. Flights are astronomical, as you can imagine. The congo is not an easy place. There's no direct flights to Manchester, so I think he's over once, twice a year at best, and it costs the best part of a grand to come over. But then, once he's here with his visitor's visa, he can stay for three months and luckily the accommodation where she is they allow him in so that he can actually live with his family and they can live a normal family life for three months. It must be heartbreaking, though, when he goes back for them all, but he has a degree in engineering and so when he comes over here, given the right opportunity, he will be a constructive contribution to society.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, exactly yeah. He'd be an economic migrant right Looking for the opportunities here, and I know we need engineers. It feels like they're in a troubled space right now, doesn't it? And eventually, with a fair wind, it should fix, because he should come over, get a job in engineering. They could build a career, and maybe that's the plan. Maybe that's how Jolcene's going to get the kids to school.

Speaker 1:

Everything will change once the boys are in school. Suddenly, nursery fees disappear and then they have the freedom to work five days a week. So their income will rocket compared to where it is now.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, jocene is clearly a super mum, a super survivor. I think she's amazing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, me too. So if you'd like to know more about the bread and butter thing and about what we get up to, you can find us at team tbbt, on instagram, twitter linkedin or online at breadandbutterthingorg.

Speaker 2:

And if you have any feedback or thoughts on the podcast or would like to come and be one of our guests and come and have a chat, drop us an email at podcast at breadandbutterthingorg.

Speaker 1:

Lastly, we're always, always open to new members at all of our hubs. If you or someone you know would benefit from our affordable food scheme, you can find your nearest hub on our become a member page on the website and please do all the things that podcasts ask you to do.

Speaker 2:

Like us, subscribe to us, leave us a review, share us with your friends and chat about us on social. Until next time, bye, bye, bye.

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